Garrison Manning

The story begins with a phone call.  Breanne, my sister, called me to tell me she was pregnant.  I was the first in the family to know about it.  It was not something to be proud of because my sister was unmarried at the time and seeing how we, the Guilbert kids, are ministers kids...well, you can just imagine.  I'll say it now because I may forget later in the story, that our church family was very supportive of Breanne and the entire family throughout the twenty-three weeks she was pregnant and especially in the seven weeks that Garrison was alive.  I will forever be grateful to Trinity Baptist Church for their love and compassion on us.  

My sister and I have not always had the best relationship.  I am ten years older than her.  I have always been motherly.  When I was little I would ask kids that were no more than an inch shorter than me if they "wanted me to hold them?"  When she came, I instantly adopted her...not only as a sister but MY baby too.  I loved to take care of her.  I helped my mom with her so much that she started calling me mommy.  When I was around eighteen or nineteen the Lord made it clear to me that the way I treated her...which must not have been good...was shaping her self esteem and I needed to value her and help to build her up, not tear her down.  Something changed inside of me and I began to do just that.  I loved her to the best of my ability and it showed.  We became very close.  She is...to this day...the only person that can make me laugh real tears!  I had no idea what the future held and how my love for her would grow and change.  

Back to the phone call...

I tried the best I knew how to encourage her that day.  I promised her that I would not tell our parents the news...we both agreed that she should tell them.  I will never forget her telling me his name.  I knew she had named him so that she would not do anything to harm him or "fix" her problem.  I knew God was doing something.  She said..."I have already given him a name...do you want to know what it is?"  She didn't know he was a boy then...it was too early.   She said..."his name is Garrison!"  I instantly loved it.  I would find out later the meaning of his name and how appropriate it was for his journey.  

The day finally came that she called mom and dad and told them she had something to tell them and asked them to meet her at their house.  I was there...in from Dallas...and I think I was supposed to leave the day before but decided to stay.  I was very proud of the way they handled the news.  They did not judge her...they loved her through it and if I ever, God forbid, have to be in the same situation...pray that I would be as loving to my child as they were to Breanne.  My dad said she was immediately to pack her things and move home with them.  

We became more and more excited about the baby...little Garrison...as the weeks went by.  The first grand baby and nephew was on his way into our family.  

At around twenty-three weeks pregnant, Breanne went to one of Brennan's (my youngest brother) basketball games with my parents on February 13th.  She complained of some cramping on the way home and just thought it was Braxton Hicks contractions.  She went to sleep that night but woke up very early in the morning complaining of pain so my parents took her to the hospital...she was in labor.  They tried to the best of their ability to stop the contractions but couldn't.  Arrangements were made for her to be sent to UAMS in Little Rock.  My parents called me that morning around 8:00 and told me what was going on.  At that point there was just talk about Little Rock but no decisions had been made.  When they called me a few hours later with the news of the transport, I got in my car and headed that way.  I was about an hour behind the ambulance.  When I got to UAMS, they had her in a room and were trying to stop the labor.  Nothing was working and it was apparent that he was coming...like it or not.  They wanted to try and hold her off for at least a week.  The survival rate would increase dramatically in a baby born at 24 weeks.   At around 8:00pm I had gone into the waiting room to talk to my sister-in-law, Jessica.  I was in the waiting room for about five minutes then headed back to check on Breanne.   Doctors and nurses were rushing around and going crazy...my heart sank.  I knew what was happening.  I ran back to the waiting room to tell Jessica and the others...I only remember saying..."she needs to push!"  Jessica, sweet sister, saw my face and the tears welling up in my eyes and hugged me.  I felt like I would be sick...knowing that what was about to happen should not be happening and knowing the outcome could be devastating.  It's funny, as I write this, I remember clearly that it never crossed my mind that he would die.  

February 14th...He arrived after only three pushes.  Our little Valentine...weighing in at only 1lb. 6oz. and 13 inches long.  I couldn't believe how tiny he was.  The doctor's

 rushed him out of the room.  They were gone for what seemed like an eternity.  When the doctor came back in she told us that they spent three minutes trying to resuscitate him and finally got him back.  "Three minutes?!?"  I prayed, "Lord, please don't let there be any brain damage!"  They brought him into the room...tiny little guy with tubes running everywhere and closed up in a plastic bed.  Eyes still fused shut...skin only three cells thick...lungs so premature that he could not breathe on his own.  Poor baby...you could tell he was crying but nothing was coming out.  The tubes would prevent us from ever hearing his little cry.  Breanne looked at him...crying and scared.  

They brought her a postcard size blue sheet of paper with is feet and hand prints on it.  Mom wanted to take a picture so I got the camera out and started snapping...pictures of Garrison...pictures of the little blue card and Breanne holding it.  She stopped me..."Please, I don't want very many pictures."  Crying...we held her.  We prayed...begging God to let him live.  I don't know, nor do I want to know, what was going through her mind at that moment.  I realized when she asked me not to take any pictures that she was scared to let herself think he would live...

but live he did!!    Part 2 tomorrow.